Should I Fall Behind

Harley ride, warm Florida nights, wind in our face, silent smiles.
Blue jeans, black shirt, tanned skin, arms wrapped around pressed close.
Dark skies, stars shine white moon on high, Spectre flies by.
Bright white head light, pine trees rise in the distant.
Panhandle asphalt, parallel ocean flowed deeper into night.
Warrior life no longer a threat, more at ease I became.
Becoming closer wanting our time to be true, we’ve fallen… too far behind.

Fulva Drive

One simple dance be shared.  Gracefully time slows.

In these eyes dreamt, genuine…beauty captured.

Back and forth, held close rhythmic breaths, where else be in awe.

No matter what becomes. Here, I will be.

Prepare To Cross Over

Spitting Teeth

Growing old without Jojo and Little Man is disturbing.  Time doesn’t seem the same and life isn’t the best without them.  The sun does not set or rise.  What was beautiful before is a passing thought today.  What I valued before has little to no meaning.  Without them, the day doesn’t arrive new and the night doesn’t come soon enough.  Watching how fast these past eight years have passed concerns me.  Why do lessons learned have to be so costly?  Are all these challenges meant for a purpose where so many losses and failures happen for a reason?  I ask these questions because from the very start, when forced to make a choice eight years ago, I chose to pursue a good life with Little Man and Jojo, finally new warrior responsibilities. After all that I failed at, I’ve come to believe that the unhealthy thinking I may have been pursuing the next warrior life.  Fact is how I couldn’t have all three.  Little Man, Jojo and that life.

Today, I seriously look at life different, but I don’t.  To read more, please click this link: Spitting Teeth

The Only Exception

I did everything I could to sleep with her.

She looked over the records where her notes collected over time from our weekly meetings.  Dark brunette cut shoulder length, glasses, with tattoos hidden under her blouse.  The artwork spread all over her shoulders, and down her back wrapped around her thin frame.  She was strong-willed with a mind like a steel trap. It was the details she craved.  With severe back problems from childhood, she pushed through her hidden pain.  Every month she took injections to cut the pain, only once a month would she be forced to rely on a cane.  Younger than myself, I could never understand how something so irritating could happen so soon to a woman.

Posted on the walls behind her were diplomas for a Bachelors and Masters degree in social work and medical policy, a Molly Pitcher award for leading military wives at Ft. Bliss, Texas.  It wasn’t only how cute she was; some of it was her intelligence, most of it was how she rebelled against the mainstream.  She was a pistol, and no one fucked with her.  Being the lowest pay grade on the scale, she didn’t have high-profile responsibilities.

To read more, click on this link….The Only Exception.

For her, here is Paramore’s “The only exception.”  Enjoy.

Jay-Z – “Empire State of Mind” Ft Alicia Keys

125 million views on YouTube. Amazing. A simply straight forward kicked back song to end the night.

Letting Go

A life I used to live included Jojo. Today, I’m working hard to start all over in a new and improved life. What I’ve written so far is nothing more than me discarding unhealthy thoughts that no longer work. If a woman is that important AND cares anything about you, she will be there. She will return on her own time. After consideration of what I’ve written, I’m experiencing healing faster where I’m moving forward by the day. Maybe I whined like a kid, I don’t care. Point is I had to write what I wrote to move on. From now on, I’m hoping to post more positive posts.

For now, I want to talk about things like my son, motorcycles, music, and share my experiences.  I believe all of them will entertain and help others.
Thanks
Prepare to Crossover

Diamond in the rough

A man pursues his woman of choice until satisfied.  Sometimes going through multiple partners, a hunter by trade, a man searches until he captures what he wants. Water, food, shelter and a woman. Not all in that order. He hunts for it all. Everything.

When it comes to a woman, any good man will look for a woman capturing one’s attention. For some it’s any woman. For others, searching for a specific woman. Much like a diamond, he looks for specifics like “cut, color, clarity and Carat weight.”  In a woman he searches for standards. Criteria. Values. Lessons learned from the past decide who they will pursue and capture for the future.

Any good man raised well searches for what is most important in a woman.  He searches for an attractive woman.  That means a clean and healthy woman. Intelligent. Outgoing. Independent. Knows how to cook. Athletic maybe active with a thin to average frame. Humorous. Educated or skilled. Traits of a good mother (For my future children). Most importantly, determine whether she is a good lover. That, of all things is the most private most difficult trait to discover.

The standards are a blue print for what works best for this man.  To get it right, he looks for something mutual lasting a lifetime.  Ultimately, as with Jojo, the search for her takes so long, she gets better with time.  She becomes a diamond in the rough.

My conflict is how Jojo once wanted me, yet now wants nothing to do with me. She introduced herself to me revealing who she is setting inside my mind a deep wish to want her in my life. Wanting to one day start a new life with her growing old together. Jojo met every standard and criteria I had set in my mind for women.

Due to my choices, forced to leave Jojo, I’ve carried hopes one day our paths would intersect again. Making all the right choices, I shouldn’t have saw this refusal of hers to communicate. Somewhere something went wrong, just don’t know where or what. Ever since, my criteria, values and standards haven’t been met yet. Without Jojo in my life, I care about no other woman. From this point on, to the end, I’m ready to never see her again and ride out this life alone.